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7 Best Gifts to Give Your 2022 Valentine

By Good Ranchers

January 28th, 2022

It’s never too late to find the perfect gift for your Valentine! Unless you drive home on valentines day and do not remember it’s valentines until you walk in the door and are greeted by romantic candles that soon turn to flames engulfing your house as your valentine realizes you forgot. To save you and your house, we have compiled the top 7 gifts to get that special someone this year. Check out our Rancher Recommendations below!

1. The Cow Leash

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This is the perfect item for a dog owner who is a secret cow admirer. With this leash, they can feel like they’re walking a beautiful and powerful ruminant instead of their dog. I mean, a cow can produce food, eats for cheap, and helps you get tax credits. Might beat out the chihuahuas if you ask us. With the cow leash, anyone can get the best of both worlds; A cute puppy mixed with the cattle of their dreams is one leash away.

2. A Good Ranchers Box

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We had to do it. Not just for the ad, but because it’s true. Bring the steakhouse home for Valentines with any one of our boxes! Snag some of our Prime Steak and Premium Seafood for a truly memorable surf & turf meal. Okay, ad is over now. On to the rest of the gifts… can you spot the theme?

3. Moo-Chas Grass-ias Shirt

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Simply put, this is a shirt that will have your Valentine saying, “Thank you very much!”

4. Black & White Cow Stool

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Interior design is always on the MOO-ve. It’s like a target that keeps shifting with each new season and color palette posted on Pinterest. Fortunately for all of us, there is one constant through it all: this timeless stool. The cow stool has been seen and documented from the times of Alexander the Great, to the founding fathers, to even our present day. What can be said about it? Not much. True art begs us not to speak, but to listen… and pay $399.

5. Cow Yoga Calendar

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Most calendars are so bland and really don’t inspire. This is not that calendar. Cow Yoga challenges each of us to be more flexible and milk life for all it’s worth. Yes, each day we have to handle ever-increasing steaks in life, and it may feel like it’s too much to stomach, but with each turn of the calendar page we are reminded - life may be hard, but not as hard as a cow trying to do the Cat part of the Cat/Cow pose.

6. The Cow Blanket

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Now, this might sound like a blanket statement… but I think this product is better than the rest.

7. UFO Cow Abduction

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Who says the kids shouldn’t get something on Valentines? This great toy that educates on the physics of a cow floating, extraterrestrial aerospace design, and how to interact with foreign green beings is worth its weight in nickels. Plus, while the kids are playing and learning, you and your Valentine will have more than enough time to cook up your box of Good Ranchers and enjoy a steakhouse quality meal that’s 100% American. Everyone gets a UFO - An Undeniably Flavorful Object.

Disclaimer: We have not bought any of these products, nor do we genuinely recommend you purchase them. We rather suggest you enjoy our descriptions, puns, and delicious American Meat instead. Happy Valentines!

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